Mistletoe & Memories
by Emmy415
Summary: Still grieving, Bella heads back to her hometown to spend Christmas with her memories. There, she runs into a few old friends, and discovers how to live again...and how to fall in love.


**This is a collaboration I did with TaraBear029 for the A Christmas To Remember o/s contest. **

**A huge thanks goes to Kas90 for beta-ing this for us!**

**Title: **Mistletoe & Memories

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Edward/Bella

**Summary: **Still grieving, Bella heads back to her hometown to spend Christmas with her memories. There, she runs into a few old friends, and discovers how to live again...and how to fall in love.

* * *

The thick blanket of snow crunched underneath my shoes as I walked up the sidewalk. Bracing myself, I took a good look at the small, white house in front of me for the first time since I had left.

It was run down...very run down.

The harsh Chicago weather had stripped much of the paint from the siding, and the once lush landscaping was tramped down and dead. I stifled a sob as I climbed the rickety staircase and turned the doorknob, leaning my shoulder into the once bright red door to push it open.

I clasped my hand over my nose as I entered, but the damp, musty smell still infiltrated my senses, making me cough hoarsely into my hand.

A lone tear escaped my eye and trailed down my cheek when I saw the state of my childhood home.

I was expecting it to be empty, cold, and broken...just like me.

But it wasn't.

It was exactly how I remembered it when I fled home. The furniture was still in its place, my mom's old afghan strewn across the back of the couch. Pictures still lined the mantle, though they were completely covered by a thick layer of dust. Even my father's coffee cup was still on the dining room table. Everything had remained completely untouched for two years.

I kicked off my boots and lined them up in the foyer, unwinding my thick green scarf from my neck as I tentatively walked into the living room, sinking down into my dad's old recliner. I could still remember him camped out in that very chair, watching baseball game after baseball game. He couldn't get enough.

Baseball was his life...it was also the thing that killed him.

As a surprise, my mom had gotten him front row seats to the Cubs game for his birthday. I had never once heard my father sing, but the day of the game, he must've belted "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at least twenty times. He was absolutely thrilled. My mom was late getting out of work and barely made it home in time to pick up my dad and head to the stadium. They both kissed me on the cheek on their way out the door and told me not to get into any trouble.

That was the last time I saw them alive.

I attended their funeral, but I stayed by myself. I didn't speak to anybody. I nodded when friends and strangers walked by me to apologize for my loss, but I never looked up at any of them. I barely even heard anything that the preacher had said.

My parents were the only family I had. And they were gone in an instant.

Immediately after the funeral, I packed up two duffel bags full of clothes and left. I was twenty-one at the time and had very little money, but I didn't care. I needed to get as far away from the memories as I could.

So, what made me come back two years later?

I still didn't know.

My first Christmas alone was pretty rough. I spent it curled up in my shabby apartment with a Lean Cuisine and a can of cranberry sauce. There was no tree, no presents, and no one to spend it with. No twinkle lights, or laughter, or stockings... just me and my microwavable dinner. I guess I figured that my memories were going to be enough to get me through this year, and where better to remember your memories than in your childhood house?

But, to be honest, I was wrong. Being in the presence of all of those memories was even harder. I could still see my dad wrapped up in Christmas lights because he refused to untangle them each year before he put them away. I could still see my mom in the kitchen, baking dozens upon dozens of Christmas cookies to distribute to our neighbors and local homeless shelters.

I stood up and walked around the lower level of our two-story house, dusting off picture frames and knick-knacks with my hand as I passed by. I laughed at my senior photo, sniffled at my graduation picture with my parents, and sobbed when I finally picked up my mom and dad's wedding picture. They looked so incredibly happy and so deeply in love. I had always wanted to have a relationship exactly like theirs, full of life, love, and laughter. Nobody made my mom laugh like my dad did. His jokes and antics had her in almost a constant state of giggles. I made a note to grab the picture before I left Chicago again; it was one thing I wanted to always keep with me.

As soon as I was done browsing and reminiscing, I headed down the street to the old diner that we used, all too frequently, every Sunday morning for breakfast. The familiar smells of grease and bacon assaulted me as soon as I pushed open the door, and I made my way over to the long counter, taking a seat on one of the tall stools.

Before I even had a chance to pick up my menu, I heard a voice call out behind me.

"Bella? Bella Swan, is that really you?"

I only knew of one person on this planet that had a voice that reminded me of tinkling bells. I turned slowly in my seat, and sure enough, there stood Alice.

Alice and I had been friends all throughout my childhood. We met on our first day of kindergarten and had been almost inseparable...up until I left and cut everyone out of my life. I kicked myself everyday for two years for just tossing aside such a good friend, but I wanted a clean break from my 'before' life. It was wrong, and I half expected her to yell at me, or slap me, or pretend like I never existed.

But she did none of those things.

She smiled brightly and flung her arms around my neck, almost knocking me off of the stool.

"I'm so happy to see you! I missed you so much!" she said before kissing my cheek and pulling away.

"Hi, Alice," I said, lifting my hand in a little wave. I didn't know what else to say to her.

_I'm sorry I left and didn't call you? Can we be friends again?_

My eyes roamed over her petite stature, and it was then that I noticed exactly how different she looked. Her once short, pixie-style hair was grown out into a sleek bob that fell to her shoulders. It was dark, almost black, with red and caramel highlights peeking through the top layer. She had traded her quirky peasant skirts and whimsical tops for a fashionable dress, tights, and sky high heels. She looked absolutely amazing.

"You look fantastic!" I gushed, urging her to twirl in front of me. As she turned, I got a good look at her left hand and gasped.

"You're married!" I shrieked, almost too loudly for the quiet diner.

She just smiled and hopped up onto the stool next to me, placing her left hand into mine so that I could sufficiently see her very beautiful, and very large, engagement ring and wedding band.

"His name is Jasper. We met at Northwestern, and I immediately fell in love. We got engaged after six months of knowing each other and just got married this past August," she boasted. She was absolutely radiant with happiness, and I couldn't help but be a little disappointed in myself that I missed her falling in love and getting married.

"I'm so happy for you," I said honestly, squeezing her hand and then dropping it at her side.

"How's the rest of your family?" I continued, trying to keep the conversation off of myself as much as possible. I wasn't ready to spill about how my life had been completely pathetic for the past two years, and that I came back home to sit in my parent's old, empty house for Christmas... completely alone.

"Great! Emmett is actually dating Jasper's sister, Rosalie. They are a match made in heaven. She's rude, snarky, and a complete bitch a lot of the time, but Emmett gives it right back to her. They both act tough, but they have huge hearts. Mom and Dad are the same. Dad is now the Chief Surgeon at the Children's Memorial Hospital, and Mom still has her interior design business. And Edward... he's... Edward..." she said, her mouth turning down into a small frown.

My breath caught in my throat at the sound of his name. Her brother Edward was my one and only unrequited love. He was a few years older than me, and I crushed on him all through junior high and high school. He ran with the popular crowd, and always had a ton of girlfriends... but he was also ridiculously smart and sweet. He always took the time to talk to me when I was over at their house, acting as sort of a sounding board for all of my girl troubles.

"What's wrong? Is he alright?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as calm and subdued as possible.

"I think so," she confided. "He's an architect for one of the top firms in Chicago, so his professional life is great. I wouldn't necessarily say the same for his love life. He went through a really tumultuous break-up at the beginning of the year, and I think he's just now starting to recover from it. I was really worried about him for awhile."

I nodded, picking my menu back up to look over. A waitress came by and took my order of coffee and an omelet, and then I turned back to Alice. She was staring at me speculatively, and I could tell that her wheels were turning in her brain, trying to figure out why exactly I was back in Chicago.

She was never one to beat around the bush, so the next question out of her mouth was what I had been dreading answering all along.

"So how are you, Bella? What brought you back here?" she asked softly, placing her right hand gently over my left one on top of the counter. Her warm hand was very reassuring, and it felt so much like home that a tear escaped my eye and trickled down my cheek. I hastily wiped it away with the back of my hand and turned my head to look at her.

"Honestly, I don't know." I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. It burned all the way down, but I knew I needed the caffeine if I was going to get through the day relatively unscathed. "I haven't been back here in two years, Alice, and I think my subconscious just needed the closure. Last year I spent Christmas by myself with only a microwavable dinner to keep me company, and I just couldn't do that again. I think I came back because it's home to me. All of my old memories are here, and I think I just needed to be around them."

"Why didn't you call and tell me? I could have gone to your old house with you, or helped you somehow...you know I would do anything for you, Bella," she whispered, so quiet that I barely heard her.

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to fight back the sobs that were threatening to overtake my body. I was feeling so many different things at that moment- sadness that my parents were gone, relief that Alice was still talking to me, and anger at myself for letting my one true friend and second family go.

I opened my eyes and looked at Alice again, and she had the most heartbreaking expression on her face. "Bella, I don't want you to spend Christmas alone... would you consider spending it with me and my family? We're having dinner tomorrow night, and then everybody is staying at my mom and dad's. We have plenty of room, and I know everyone would like to see you."

I shook my head slightly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, a habit that I had when I was nervous about something. "I don't know, Alice... I just don't know if I'm ready..."

"Please, Bella? I think it will do you some good to be around people that love you. I won't let you spend Christmas alone, so you're either coming over, or I'm coming to sit with you at your mom and dad's. Take your pick."

"I don't have gifts for anyone. I'd feel guilty. I really don't want to impose," I said, cutting into my omelet that had just been set in front of me.

She rolled her eyes and waved me off with her hand. "Nonsense, Bella. Nobody is going to care. You being here is enough of a gift for any of us to have. I'll expect you at 6:00 tomorrow." She stuck out her bottom lip and made the saddest eyes that she possibly could, most likely trying to guilt me into going. No one could resist Alice's sad face... not even me.

"Fine, I'll be there. But I'm bringing wine or something," I responded.

She hopped off of her stool and clapped. "Perfect! Bella, trust me. You'll be glad you came. I'll make sure you have a nice time."

"I'm sure you will," I mumbled, and then she was gone.

On Christmas Eve, at exactly 6pm, I parked my rental car in the Cullen's driveway and stared up at the house. It hadn't changed at all since I saw it last. The massive, white, three-story house looked like something out of an old southern plantation, with its wraparound porch and lush green wreaths hanging in each window. I had to admit, even though the Cullen's were like a second family to me growing up, I was a little bit scared. Just because Alice wasn't angry, didn't mean anyone else wouldn't be. I sighed and flipped down the visor above my head to check my make-up and hair, grabbed the two bottles of wine I bought, and slipped out of the car. Before I could even shut the car door, the front door of the house opened and I saw Alice's beaming face in the doorway.

_There's no escaping now,_ I thought, smoothing down my dress and starting towards the front porch. As soon as I climbed the steps, she threw her tiny body into mine again, hugging me fiercely.

"I'm so happy you're here!" she greeted, taking my hand and tugging me into the house. The scent that assaulted me when I entered was a complete difference from the musty smell that greeted me when I entered my parent's house the previous day. I took a deep breath and let the influx of pine, cinnamon, and turkey invade my senses, and I smiled softly. That was the very moment that I decided that maybe that Christmas wouldn't be all that bad.

Alice took my coat and continued tugging me into the kitchen where I knew Esme would be. Out of everyone, I think I was most afraid of seeing her. Okay, maybe I was more afraid of seeing Edward, but Esme was always like a second mother to me, and it killed me inside that I might have disappointed her.

I stopped in the doorway and watched her flit around the kitchen. She looked exactly the same. Her caramel colored hair was pulled back into a sleek chignon, and her signature "Esme's Kitchen" apron was tied securely around her waist, covering up what was probably a gorgeous dress.

She must've heard us loitering in the doorway because she turned around and her hand immediately went up to her mouth. She gasped and hurried around the counter, immediately sweeping me into her arms.

"Oh, Bella... Alice told me that you might come. I'm so overjoyed. It's so good to see you, sweetheart," she said, the sweet dulcet tones of her voice immediately soothing all of my nervousness away. She pulled back from me slightly, still keeping my shoulders in her grip.

"You look gorgeous... just like your mom," she said, her eyes starting to get a little glassy. I looked down at my feet, knowing that I would burst into tears if I kept looking at her.

She pulled me into another hug, but this time I felt two other arms come around from behind me. "Alice told me she saw you, but I didn't believe her. We're glad you're here."

I gasped and turned around, seeing Carlisle in front of me, his blue eyes shining with happiness.

"Carlisle!" I cried, throwing my arms around him. He chuckled and steadied me, rubbing his hands up and down my back in soothing strokes.

Just then, I heard the front door slam and a loud voice. "Ma! Where's the Turkey? I'm star- wait... who's the chick?" He stopped in the doorway behind me, and I slipped out of Carlisle's embrace to face him.

"Hi Emmett," I said shyly, raising my hand to wave in his direction.

He grinned and took two huge steps towards me, sweeping me up into a hug, my feet hanging about a foot off of the floor. "Bella Swan! How are you? It's been so dull around here with no one to harass but Alice."

I laughed and squeezed him around the neck, completely overjoyed by the fact that I was welcomed back so easily. Everyone was acting like I had never left, and it was such a huge relief.

He set me down and I noticed two figures standing in the hallway behind him.

"Oh! Bella, this here is my Rosie," he said, pulling a stunning blonde woman through the door and put one of his huge, hulking arms around her shoulders, "and he's Alice's," he pointed behind him.

"Jasper Whitlock, ma'am," the gorgeous blonde guy drawled, stepping around them and shaking my hand. Alice came to his side, snuggling herself into his torso. He leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the nose, and I swooned internally. Of course Alice would get the gorgeous southern gentleman as a husband...she wouldn't settle for anything less, and it was blatantly obvious that he was over the moon for her.

My eyes scanned the room for the one person that had yet to show his face. Alice, sensing my anxiety, took my hand and leaned in to whisper, "He'll be here shortly."

I nodded just as Esme started ushering us into the dining room. We all took seats around the massive table, picking at appetizers and drinking wine to pass the time until dinner. Carlisle took a seat at one end, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie on one side, and Emmett next to me, leaving only the seat on the left side of me and the seat at the end open. Alice winked at me.

_Apparently she knew about my little crush on her brother._

I listened to the vibrant conversation going on around me, keeping one eye peeled on the front door since I could just barely see it through the dining room doorway. I didn't know what to expect from Edward. It was bugging me more than I wanted to admit that I had no idea what his reaction would be when he saw me.

I didn't have to wait long to find out.

The front door swung open, and I could barely hear the wind swirling outside before he stepped into the house and closed the door behind him. I put my wine glass to my lips, taking a huge gulp before I needed to face him.

He was facing away from me, pulling his jacket and shoes off, so I could only see the back of him... but oh, what a nice back it was. His gray button-up shirt highlighted his broad shoulders and lithe muscles, and his dark jeans made his ass look fabulous. My mouth went dry, and I took another huge gulp of my wine just as he turned around.

As soon as he entered the dining room and our eyes met, he stopped in his tracks and stared. He was probably trying to determine if he was seeing things, judging from the fact he rubbed his eyes not once, but twice.

"Bella?" he said, taking slow steps toward the table.

"Hi, Edward," I replied quietly with a nervous smile.

He continued around the table until he was standing in front of me, his eyes wide and searching. "What... what are you doing here?" he asked, still looking a bit shell shocked. I couldn't figure out why he was acting the way he was... his family all acted like I had never left, but he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the fact that I was sitting in front of him.

"Oh... just thought I'd drop by for a visit," I said cheekily, standing up to greet him properly.

He finally smiled, reaching out to wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me into his warm body. I stood on my tiptoes and hugged him back just a tad bit closer than I had hugged everyone else. My face was turned into his neck, and I inhaled his scent that was so distinctly him... a mix of cologne, snow, and sugar.

We must have stood there longer than I realized because I heard Alice distinctly clear her throat. I reluctantly pulled back from Edward's embrace and turned to see her smirking at me.

I could feel my cheeks flush, and I sat down quickly just as Esme brought the turkey into the room. Edward sat down next to me, so close that his arm and leg brushed mine when he sat, and it seemed that I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I slyly glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, noticing that he looked the same, but different somehow. His bronze hair was still completely wild but had been trimmed just a bit shorter. His jaw seemed to have become a bit more angular, transforming him completely from 'boy' to 'man.' His eyes... oh, his eyes... they were the same bright green that they had always been. You could tell Edward's mood by simply looking at his eyes... when he was sad, they seemed to dull down, when he was happy, they seemed to dance, and when he was angry, they seemed to darken and get more intense. I probably should have been ashamed that I knew so much about one person's features, but in my defense, I spent A LOT of time analyzing them during my younger years.

Dinner was delicious, and listening to the conversation around the table was the most fun that I'd had in two years. Edward didn't say much, just nodded and listened to his father's tales from the hospital or his brother's stories about his high school football team that he coached. As soon as we were finished, Alice, Rosalie, and I cleaned up the dishes from the table and brought them into the kitchen, rinsing and piling them into the dishwasher. Esme said since I was a guest, I didn't need to help, but I insisted. It kept me busy and kept my mind briefly off of the fact that my parents were gone.

After we were done with clean-up, I quietly snuck out to the back patio. I leaned against the railing and stared out at the vast back yard, remembering all of the birthdays and other miscellaneous celebrations spent there with my parents. A solitary tear escaped down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away when the door behind me slid open, and I heard footsteps moving in my direction.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," Edward's voice said quietly. My heart rate instantly increased, which was completely normal for me when I was in his presence.

"I just... needed some fresh air," I answered and watched him out of the corner of my eye. His stance mirrored mine, and we stood in complete silence for what seemed like an eternity.

He was the first to speak again. "Bella, why did you leave?"

_Well, HE certainly isn't beating around the bush._

I sighed and shook my head. "Edward, I really don't want..."

"I think we deserve an answer, especially Alice. She was devastated when you left without so much as a goodbye. I know she's too afraid to ask because she's just happy you're here, but somebody had to do it."

"Edward, please," I said, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to escape. "You _know _why I left. I couldn't stay here. It was too painful to be alone in that house. I didn't mean to hurt anybody, but I know I did, and I'm sorry. Can we please not do this tonight? It's Christmas Eve."

"Bella," he whispered, stepping closer to me. "I just want to know why you abandoned everyone that loved and cared about you." His next remark came out so quiet, I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. "Why you abandoned me."

The tears started flowing in earnest when I heard the heartbreaking tone of his voice, and I took a few deep, shuddering breaths before I raised my head to answer him. "I don't know. Everything just happened so fast, and before I knew it, I was gone. I thought about you guys constantly, but I was afraid to come back. I was afraid of what you all would think of me, and I was afraid of being so close to all of my memories. I thought that if I was alone, everything would just fade away, and I would move on with my life. But I didn't, Edward. I didn't move on. I'm just as sad and broken as I was the day I left."

"We... _I _could've helped you, Bella. You shut out people that love you unconditionally. Alice looked for you for a year and a half. She had basically given up about six months ago. She told me that you would find your way back to us. She held that faith for so long."

"I'm here now," I whispered, wiping my tears with my shirt sleeve. "I'm not cutting her, or any of you, out of my life again! Please, Edward. Why are you making this so difficult for me?"

He was silent for a long moment, but then took a step closer to me so that our toes were almost touching. He nudged my chin up with his index finger, his green eyes piercing into my watery brown ones.

"Because you broke my heart, Bella."

"What?" I asked, because I was completely astonished, and I couldn't get any other words out.

"I was completely and helplessly in love with you, and you didn't have a clue. And then you just left before I could do anything about it," he confessed.

"What?" I repeated, still in shock. "I mean, I don't...I thought that you..."

"You thought I saw you as nothing more than my little sister's best friend, right?"

I just stared at him, completely unable to move or speak.

"Well, I didn't. You were so much more than that to me, Bella, and it broke my heart that you ran away when you needed us the most."

My arms instinctively reached out and wrapped around his waist, closing the last little bit if distance between us. "I'm sorry. So sorry," I sobbed, my tears soaking through his shirt as I buried my face in his chest.

"Shhh... come on, Bells. Don't cry," he soothed, his warm hands rubbing up and down my back.

"I'm so stupid," I mumbled. "Knowing that I could've had you all along."

His hands abruptly stopped moving, and I prayed that he hadn't actually heard what I said. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," I said, completely embarrassed. I tried to shrug out of his arms, but his grip was tight and he wouldn't let me go.

"No, no, no... you're not running. Did you just say that you could've had me all along? Meaning, you _wanted_ me all along?"

"Yes," I whispered, staring down at our feet.

He sighed and I cringed, thinking that he was going to be horribly mad at me, or he'd remove his warm arms from around me and run away.

But he didn't. He rested his cheek on top of my head and squeezed me tighter to him. "How do you feel about me now?" I asked him softly, both nervous and intrigued to hear his answer. Clearly I was a masochist.

"Nothing has changed, Bella," he replied, pulling back to look at me. "I'm still me, and from what I can tell, you're still you. I still love you."

A few traitor tears leaked out of my eyes at his admission, and he brushed them away with his thumbs before taking my face between his hands.

"You're freezing." He smiled, rubbing his thumbs along my cheeks.

I glanced up at him from under my lashes. The look in his eyes was completely comforting, like a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a cold night. I couldn't look away from him, and I found that I didn't really want to.

Time completely slowed, and I'm not sure how long we stood there gazing at each other, but I was acutely aware of his hands touching me and his warm breath sweeping across my face.

His head lowered toward mine, hesitating when he was just a breath away. His eyes searched mine once more, looking for any sign of doubt, before his lips touched mine in a whisper of warmth and softness. He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on mine before advancing again, my eyes fluttering closed when he pressed his lips to mine, harder than before but still achingly gentle.

Little by little, the kiss deepened. His mouth opened and his tongue searched for mine, gently tangling inside of my mouth. I could've cried again at how gently and reverently he was kissing me, like he was truly cherishing the moment... like he loved me.

His hands fell from my face, traveling over my shoulders, down my arms, and finding purchase on my hips.

"Edward," I breathed out as his lips moved from my mouth down to my neck. "Maybe we should go back inside. Everyone's probably wondering why we've been out here so long."

"No, no, it's fine," he mumbled, his lips still attached to my skin.

I laughed and pulled away. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Taking his hand, I started walking towards the door, but Edward tugged me back to him.

"Wait," he said, turning me around. "Alice will probably ask you this if she hasn't already, but will you stay here tonight? With me? I mean, with us? There's no need for you to stay in a hotel. I'm sure Mom won't mind, and there's plenty of..."

I silenced him by pressing my lips to his. "Of course I'll stay."

We walked back into the house, where the kitchen was completely empty. Continuing down the hallway, we heard the sounds of Christmas music and laughing ringing out from the family room. Edward reached out and hooked his pinky with mine, connecting us in what little way he could right then. We got to the doorway and saw his entire family camped out on the couches and chairs, laughing hysterically at Emmett who was doing some sort of weird dance in the middle of the room.

Alice spotted me and waved me over to sit with her. I skipped across the room and plopped down on the couch.

"Where were you? Is everything okay?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

I shifted my eyes over to Edward who was still hovering by the door, and then back to her, not really knowing how to reply to her. I really didn't know where that kiss would leave Edward and I, and I didn't want to spill my guts if it was all for nothing anyways. "Yeah, I'm fine. Edward and I were just outside talking and lost track of time," I assured her, hoping that she would believe me and would drop the subject for the moment.

"He wasn't being an ass to you, was he?" she asked, whispering in my ear so that no one else would hear her.

I laughed. "No, he wasn't. We were just catching up." I patted her on the arm and scrunched over closer to Alice, motioning for Edward to come sit on the other side of me since it was the only seat left in the living room, and well, I really wanted to be close to him.

We spent the rest of the evening laughing at Emmett's antics and watching 'A Christmas Story' with the living room lights off and the Christmas tree lights on. They cast a warm glow over the entire room as we sipped hot chocolate and munched on peppermint candy canes. Edward and I draped a fleece throw over our laps and held hands underneath it like a couple of teenagers.

When it was time to go to bed, I snuggled up under the blankets in the guestroom next to Alice's old room and across from Edward's. My mind started flipping through the events from the past two days. Seeing my old house, running into Alice, finding my second family again, and having the only man I had ever loved tell me that he loved me back was almost more than I could comprehend.

But, as wonderful as it all was, I was still sad. I was sad that my parents weren't with me, and I was sad that I ran away from Alice, Edward, and their entire family when all they wanted to do was care for me and love me. I was worried about what was going to happen if Edward and I started a relationship. I didn't live in Chicago, so what would that mean for us? I didn't have anything in Washington... I lived in a small, dingy apartment and had a dead-end job at a coffee shop, so there was really nothing keeping me there. I didn't want to jump the gun, though, and assume that Edward would actually want me to move back home. Would he think that I was moving too fast? I didn't want to scare him off.

My internal monologue was driving me crazy, so I pulled my pillow over my head and screamed into it, hoping that no one heard me and would come running into my bedroom. Eventually, I nodded off into a dreamless sleep, deciding that I wouldn't worry about everything and would just go with the flow.

I awoke the next morning to something tickling my face. Without opening my eyes, I swatted at whatever it was. It was still dark outside, so I knew it was way too early to be awake... even if it WAS Christmas morning. I heard laughter and peeked my eye open to see Edward sitting on the edge of my bed, clad in plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt. He was smiling brightly, too brightly for so early in the morning, and his hair was sticking up in about 150 different directions.

He raised his hand to tickle my face again when I realized exactly what he was tickling me with.

A mistletoe.

"Ugh, Edward, it's too early... and I'm not kissing you with my dragon breath. Sorry."

He huffed and fell down onto his back next to me. "You're no fun, Bella."

I turned my head and saw that the clock said 6:30am. "Are you kidding me with this, Edward? Go back to sleep. You aren't 10 years old anymore."

"But I'm too excited to sleep," he admitted, taking one of my hands in his.

"I wish I could be as excited as you," I sighed. "I just haven't been the same since my parents died. I mean, I know it's been two years, but it feels like it was just yesterday, you know?" My voice cracked as the last words left my lips and immediately Edward had his arms wrapped around me.

It felt so wonderful being completely surrounded by him. We laid together for what seemed like hours, not speaking, just enjoying each other's company. Edward twirled my curls between his fingers and kissed my forehead about a hundred times, seemingly content with just... being.

He finally broke the silence, turning his head in the now brightening room to look at me. "You know, Bella, it's okay to cry. You suffered a huge loss, and it's okay to be sad about it. You know I'm here for you if you want to cry, scream, laugh... whatever you need to do."

"Edward," I whispered. "What are we going to do?"

"About what?" he asked, rubbing my back.

"About us. I mean, assuming there is an 'us'. You live here in Chicago and I... don't."

"Well..." he started. "Have you ever given any thought to coming back here? I know Alice would be beside herself with happiness, and you could start over here... with me."

Before I could answer him, there was a tiny knock on the door and it was pushed open, revealing Alice on the other side. She noticed our positions on the bed, plus my tear streaked face and raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"You guys coming?" she asked, tapping her foot on the floor and looking at the non-existent watch on her wrist.

"Yeah, we'll be down in a bit," Edward said, climbing out of the bed and pulling me with him.

Alice disappeared down the hall, presumably to wake everybody else up, and Edward kissed my forehead. "We'll figure 'us' out, Bells," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "But let's get downstairs before my sister has a fit."

Nodding, I followed him downstairs to the living room. As soon as we entered the room, I stopped dead in my tracks. Something was there that hadn't been the night before. Next to the Cullen's gigantic 15 foot Christmas tree was a smaller, thinner tree. It was old and had definitely seen better days. It was completely covered in bright multi-colored lights and mismatched ornaments. My hand flew to my mouth, and my eyes immediately filled with tears... again. It seemed that I had been doing nothing but crying in the past 48 hours.

Some had been sad, some had been happy, but the ones that were currently taking up residence in my eyes were a little bit of both because the small, thinning tree wasn't just ANY tree. It was my tree from my parent's house. And it was filled with all of my old childhood ornaments... the old cross-stitched tree that I had made for my mom in 3rd grade, my baby's 1st Christmas ornament, the tiny silver swan that my dad had bought me for my 18th birthday... they were all there.

"Do you like it?" I heard Alice speak up behind me, and I jumped, not having heard her approach.

"Alice... I... how?" I stuttered, not really knowing what to say.

She smiled and tucked her arm through mine, leading me closer to the tree. "Me, Edward, and Emmett went over last night and found it. You really shouldn't keep the spare key on top of the door frame, by the way. Anyways, we thought you could use a little slice of home. Merry Christmas, B."

I threw my arms around her and squeezed like my life was depending on it. "Thank you," I choked out. I turned to Emmett and wrapped my arms around him as far as they would go. "Thanks to _all _of you."

I let go of Emmett and turned to give Edward a hug. "Thank you. So much," I whispered, pulling him a bit closer than his siblings. He murmured something in my ear that I couldn't make out and placed a lingering kiss on my cheek before pulling away. Not even a second later, Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hallway to the kitchen, mumbling about coffee and breakfast. As soon as we got into the empty room, she turned sharply and placed her tiny hands on her hips.

"WHAT is going on, Bella? There's something going on between you and Edward. You're all touchy, and he's been walking around with a giant grin on his face. Tell me."

I sighed and plopped down into a chair. "We don't even know, Alice. We have feelings for one another... strong feelings, but we're trying to navigate them. I mean, I don't even live here. It's something Edward and I are going to have to work out."

"Move back to Chicago," she said simply.

"And live where?" I asked with a sigh. "I really don't think I could bear living in my parent's house. Not yet."

She rolled her eyes. "Bella, I could rattle off at least four people that would love to have you stay with them, including myself. That's not an excuse."

"It's just so sudden. I just need time to process it all," I said, fumbling with my fingers in my lap.

She came over and perched on my knee, throwing an arm over my shoulders. "Bell, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I can tell that you aren't happy in Washington. Come home. We're your family, and we miss you. I hate knowing that you're all alone on the other side of the country. And this thing with Edward... don't run away from it. Who cares if it's sudden? I have a feeling that this has been a long time coming. Embrace it."

"I'm not _totally _alone out there, Alice. I know... people," I fibbed. The only person I really ever talked to was my co-worker, Tanya, but I was convinced she said mean things about me behind my back.

She arched an eyebrow at me, probably totally aware that I was lying, but didn't call me out. Instead, she kissed my cheek. "Just... think about it, B. That's all I'm asking."

We grabbed our coffee and headed back into the living room where the whole family was congregated. I took a seat on the loveseat next to Edward who mouthed "You okay?" to me as I sat down. I nodded and squeezed his arm, delighting in the feel of his muscles underneath the sleeve of his waffle knit Henley.

Carlisle played Santa, passing out gifts to the entire family, and I was surprised when he dropped 2 boxes in my lap, both wrapped in pristine gold paper. I held them in my lap, watching as everyone tore into their gifts, exclamations of joy ringing out as they discovered their treasures.

Edward was mid-tear into one of his gifts when he stopped and looked over at me. "Bella, aren't you going to open yours?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I will. Go ahead. I'm enjoying watching you."

I really was enjoying myself. He looked so excited tearing into his gifts, and it made _me _happy to see _him_ so happy. He fist pumped when he opened up his brand new 32GB iTouch, and gave his mom a huge hug and kiss on the cheek when he unearthed the personalized staff paper for his piano compositions.

After the floor was sufficiently covered in ripped wrapping paper and boxes, seven pairs of eyes turned to look at me.

I sank down into my seat and felt my face flush. "You guys, I don't know why you got me gifts. How did you know I'd even be here?"

Esme chuckled softly. "Are you kidding? I have Alice as a daughter. Not only did she have a 'hunch', she's never one to turn down shopping."

"Plus, we love you," Alice chimed in. "You're part of the family. Do you really think we'd let the day go by without giving you something?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes playfully while I stuck my index finger under the seam to gingerly unwrap the first box.

I was taking my time, wanting to enjoy the moment, but Alice would have none of it. "Hurry up, Bella!"

I pulled the paper off and lifted the lid off of the box, only to see a beautiful leather photo album nestled inside. I cast a questioning glance in Alice's direction but lifted the album out and set it across my lap, gently opening to the first page.

"Oh my," I gasped, gazing at the pictures on the page. The top picture was from me and Alice's graduation. We were nestled in between Emmett and Edward in the picture, grinning wildly in our ugly yellow graduation gowns. The picture below was almost exactly the same, except we were a lot younger, and our graduation gowns had been traded for swimsuits. I giggled when I saw our wet, matted down hair and Alice's trendy bikini that she practically begged Carlisle to let her wear. Emmett had begun to fill out in the picture, so he was a bit bulky, but Edward was scrawny and skinny, with knobby knees and wild hair. The remainder of the pages were littered with pictures of us, Carlisle, Esme, and my parents. All of my most cherished memories were there... from me and Alice's "fashion shows" in the backyard, to fishing trips with my dad, to sitting next to Edward at the piano while he taught me how to play 'Heart and Soul'.

"Alice... this is... I don't know what to say," I admitted, launching forward to hug her again. "Thank you."

She hugged me and then steered me back to the loveseat where my other gift was resting. I opened that one a bit quicker, now excited to see what else they had come up with. The box nestled inside was much smaller, no bigger than the palm of my hand.

I lifted the hinged lid and tears immediately filled my eyes. "What... how did you do this on such short notice?" I gasped out, picking up the ring that was sitting inside. It was white gold with two stones sitting side by side in the middle. They were my parents' birthstones.

"I've actually had that one for awhile," Alice confessed. "I had it made for you right after... I had always hoped that you would come back so I could give it to you."

My heart was overflowing with emotions, and I started crying for the umpteenth time in two days. "These are just perfect, Alice. I love you guys."

After I had exchanged hugs with everyone and thanked them profusely, they all retired to the kitchen, leaving Edward and I behind. Alice winked at me as she left, which told me she was most likely to blame for the impromptu alone time with her brother.

_Devious, conniving little midget. _

I walked over to my old tree and brushed my fingers lightly over the branches. I couldn't believe they went through the trouble of locating and assembling all of it just for me. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude to my second family for opening their arms to me when I had been so unfaithful to them. They didn't have to welcome me back at all, but they had done it with such happiness and ease that it made me wonder if I really _did_ belong here. It was something that I had been running through my mind for the past two years, but the fear of being rejected was something that kept me from returning. But now, what was my excuse? I would have a place to stay, I was sure I could probably find some kind of job to bring me some income, and I had a whole family here practically begging me to make the move home.

_So why was I still hesitating?_

Before I could answer my own question, I felt my hair being swept off my neck and a warm body press up against mine from behind. Edward rested his chin on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around my body, resting his hands on top of mine.

"Move back to Chicago. Please," he said quietly. "If not for me then for Alice."

"What if I do, Edward? What would that mean for us?"

"It means we'll have the chance to start something we could have started a long time ago. If you decide that you don't want to move back home right now, I'll wait. No matter how long I have to, I'll wait for you. But to be completely honest, I don't want to."

I turned in his arms to face him, placing my hands on his chest. "No, Edward. I want to. I want to move back."

_There, that wasn't so hard._

All of my mulling over was really for nothing. Deep down, I knew what I wanted; I was just looking for excuses not to. After the loss of my parents, I lost faith in ever being completely happy and fulfilled. Every time something would start to look up for me, the other shoe would drop, and I'd end up just as miserable as I was before. But these people, my _family_ wouldn't leave me... they wouldn't disown me or let me be alone and miserable.

Edward and I really _could_ be happy together. If we still had strong feelings for one another after all of this time, it _had_ to be real. It just had to be. And I would have been stupid to pass up what could possibly be the best thing to ever happen to me.

His answering grin lit up his face, and he started to lean down to kiss me but pulled back just before our lips touched.

"Wait," he said, and reached into the pocket of his pajama pants, pulling out the same sprig of mistletoe that he woke me up with. He held it over my head.

"Okay, now I'm ready." He smiled and captured my lips with his. We melded together seamlessly, like two puzzle pieces made specifically for each other. His mouth was soft but unyielding on mine, and he kissed me with more passion then I could barely comprehend. His arm that wasn't holding the mistletoe wound around my waist, pulling me flush up against him, and I let out a quiet moan when I felt the entire length of his body come in contact with mine.

_Why hadn't we done this before?_

After three soft pecks to my lips and one to my forehead, he pulled away and took my hand in his.

"Come on. You have an announcement to make. I will try my hardest to shield you from Alice," he vowed, giddily pulling me behind him down the hallway.

The entire family was sitting around the table, drinking coffee and munching on bagels when we entered. Their heads snapped to the doorway when they heard our approach, and at least half of them raised an eyebrow when they noticed our entwined hands, my flushed face, and Edward's giddy expression.

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Emmett yelled with his mouth half full of food. "Eddie finally got some!"

I heard a simultaneous whack from Rosalie and Esme as I hid my red face in Edward's shoulder.

"Emmett, don't be rude," Edward scolded. "Besides, if I DID get some, I would hope that it would last longer than 10 minutes."

"Anyways..." Alice yelled over everybody. "Do you have something to tell the class?"

I stepped out from behind Edward, still keeping a grip on him and smiled at her. "I'm moving back," I said, and then shielded myself behind him again.

After that, all I heard were squeals, I think I even heard Emmett squeal, and all I felt were arms as I was passed around the room, getting showered with hugs and 'welcome homes.'

When I finally felt Edward's arms around me again, I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He looked absolutely ecstatic. Alice was at my side, bouncing happily on her toes, asking me where I was going to stay, when I was moving, where I was going to work, and just about every other question she could think of.

I started to get overwhelmed when Edward put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "Ali, give her time to think about all of this."

The rest of the day was relaxing... we watched Christmas movies, ate dinner together, and just enjoyed each other's company. The family didn't question Edward's and my relationship, to which I was grateful. It was something we needed to work out when I got permanently settled in Chicago again, but it was clear that we both wanted the same thing.

Just to be with each other.

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed and I had just settled into my own, there was a quiet knock on my door before it was pushed open. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep in case it was Alice coming to quiz me again. But when I felt the blankets being lifted and the long, lean body slide in behind me, I knew it wasn't Alice.

"What do you think you're doing, Edward?" I asked playfully, rolling over to face him.

He grinned, his eyes shining with happiness and mischief. "Just sleeping with my girl."

"My girl," I repeated. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too," he replied, leaning in to kiss me softly. Our lips moved together in a quiet whisper as our hands drifted over each other's clothed forms. "I'm so happy you're going to be here with me, Bella. There's nothing I want more than you. Nothing. I just want to make you happy. You deserve to be happy."

I pecked him on the lips and then moved to place a lingering kiss on his neck. "You do make me happy, Edward. I've been so lost the past couple of years, but the past few days have been like a dream. I'm so happy that I finally found where I belong."

He smiled, rolling me on to my back and hovering over me. His hair fell into his eye as he gazed down at me, and I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"You belong with _me_, Bella. I love you."

I smiled and reached up to cup his cheek with my palm. "I love you too, Edward."

We finally fell asleep a few hours later, completely tangled up in each other. Before I fell asleep, I whispered a silent 'thank you' up to my parents and made a wish that I would get to end every Christmas... exactly this way.

Completely happy, surrounded by my family, and hopelessly in love.


End file.
